Posted by: rschoolcraft | April 2, 2008

#4 the Good Old Days

Designated Driver Old white people love to talk about the Good Old Days. When you have a few days to spare you should look one up.WARNING: Choose carefully! The older they are, the more they talk.

Probably the best generation to get your feet wet is with the baby boomers. They don’t talk as long and they have a very colorful language.

You will sit totally enthralled as they talk about balling, hash, beatniks and flower children.

Remember to bring along your pocket Old White People’s Dictionary. It will really come in handy.

You’ll need to turn to LANGUAGE OF THE FIFTIES & SIXTIES to understand words and terms like bagging, beat feet, bitching, cool, decked out, lay it on me, neat, thongs (not your current thong), wiz and more. Of course, renting the movie WOODSTOCK will get you
acclimated.
For those of you that are adventurous and like a real challenge there are the traditionalists. Born between 1900 and 1945, or so it goes, they will tax all your senses. NOTE: To avoid hearing loss sit approximately 4 feet away. For spittle you may need to sit even further away and wear a mask.

Get as comfortable as you can. Bring some pillows and snacks. Know where the restroom is. Then sit back and enjoy tales of walking a thousand miles to school, the It Girl, Frankie, big bands and hand crank phones.

Finally, watch your time. Remember the easiest time to get away is bedtime. Usually this occurs between 6 and 9 P.M.. It usually starts with a slow nod followed by a drooping head and partial snore. Be aware that with some old white people that this is just their way of catching their breath.

You don’t want to be rude by just up and leaving so linger for a couple minutes. If you find drool around the corners of the mouth you can pretty much guess that they’re asleep BUT be careful… their evening nap may fool you into thinking that you have more time than you really do.

That said, enjoy! This batch of old white people won’t be around forever.

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